Submergee to Emergee
For those who came in late, a submergee is a person who has been converted into a right hander from a left hander. An emergee is a person who re-converts and goes back to his innate handedness.
I was born a left hander. To this day, I stay a left hander. I draw, cut, open doors, and shampoo with my left hand. The only things that I do with my right hand, or rather the only things that were forced upon me as a left hander, were writing and eating. I was rapped on the knuckles by obliging nuns in nursery school for attempting to write with my left hand. At home, I would be given a spoon if I tried to eat with my left hand. Eventually, I started writing with my right hand. But still, nature had its way. I simply cannot open bottles, use keys, or comb hair with my right hand.
When I was about 8, I developed a kind of writing disability with my right hand, which, the neurologist said, was a result of converting my handedness. I turned to my beloved left hand, which served me during my time of need. But, I let it go as soon as my right hand returned to proficiency.
In my first escapades with cooking, I wondered why I always used the knife upside down. I was even laughed at by many people for not knowing how to hold a kitchen knife. What nobody understood was that my poor brain was confused trying to decode instructions, and could not choose between the imposed and the natural very quickly. I consciously coach myself to use the correct side of the knife now.
I have always understood letters and instructions in mirror images. By no means am I dyslexic, but somehow, I had a tendency to write mirror image letters when I was a kid. I can still do that, and I enjoy it, because not many people can boast of it. Till date, for me left is right and right is left. My first instinct is always to lift the left leg. I am a left sider as well, I figure. I want to be able to write with both hands, the way I can do most things with both.
What disturbs me about this is how far can our obsession with conformism go? Why should left handers be forced to become right handers? Till date, auto drivers ask me to use my right hand to pay them rather than the left. The last time one of them said that, I asked him to cut off his left hand and live without it, if it’s that useless and unclean.
A Piece of Advice
Its everywhere. Lurking in corners, right in front of you, in your bedroom at home, at your office workstation. It comes from most unexpected sources at times, and it is, well, expected from some sources at all times. No, I am not referring to terrorism paranoia. I am talking about the ubiquitous Advice.
The most common sources are family. That is something we learn to deal with right when we are teens. So, it ceases to be irritating for long. Over a period of time, maternal advice has a nice, comforting drone to it. And your tired, after-office evenings can actually seem empty without it.
Now coming to the other sources....once, I suffered an outbreak of unsightly acne all over my face. What ultimately became more bothersome was not the acne, but the number of "household tips" I got for resolving it. The neighbourhood friendly lady suggested fenugreek. I cannot bear the smell of fenugreek even in my food. Having my face reek of it was, well, so fenug (reek)!!! Unknown netizens said aspirin paste applied on the face did it. A lady sitting next to me on the train (!!!) suggested applying toothpaste over the affected area. I can actually compile a book of acne remedies out of the "friendly advice" I received. The remedies ranged from the normal to the bizarre (one was guided visualization of clear skin). I chose the best advice out of all: IGNORE ALL ADVICE. Bingo, my skin cleared like magic. All it wanted was no advice.
Do not get deluded into thinking that only apparent physical manifestations can fetch advice. You can get advice on when to plan your kids, what to buy for office wear, how to win over your mother-in-law within 4 weeks of marriage, how to make your man a slave of your cooking, and how to seduce your boss (within a week of joining work), from all sorts of sources. Unknown people can have a surprising say in the choice of your wedding trousseau, so mind it.
We, between us, have the potential of an explosive self-help industry with our "How-tos" and "Dos" and "Don'ts". The best part is, we need not even ask. There is some mysterious radar in most people which makes them understand and relate to the concerns of others, and help them out. (Whether you really need help or not, is, well, an entirely different matter).
Move over, Dale Carnegie. How to win friends and influence people is old news. Moreover, the aunty sitting next to me on my commute home can give me better advice on almost all pressing concerns of my life. FOR FREE.
A Cool Obituary
In memory of an Air conditioner, which died due to fatal wire rupture caused by Rat bite.
There lies he who cooled all....
Brutally cut off from life supply...
Razor sharp teeth which bore through his very soul...
Have rendered him immortal once and for all.
I miss your quiet, steady hum. May your internal circuit rest in peace.
