Louis Vuitton and Pink eye-shadow
"Don't get fooled by the pink eye-shadow" ,wrote Shobhaa De, about airhostesses in an article in the newspaper...so here are some lessons for the brave people who are attempting a journey to Bangalore by flight:Warning: Avoid travelling by flight to Bengaluru. Roads in our country are really nice. Besides, you will save on money, and now, on time too.
If you cannot avoid air travel or have a taste for adventures of a different kind, pay careful attention to the safety announcement below.
1. The new international airport in Bangalore is equidistant from Hyderabad and Bombay, between both the cities, and subsequently, away from Bangalore.
2. Cab travel from the airport can cost more than the flight if you are not careful.
3. Please get used to signs saying "Bengaluru airport: 30 kms" or "Bengaluru City: 30 kms." and try not to get traumatised.
4. Carry a good stock of finger food, and a good music player for your ride to and from the airport. There will be no other entertainment available on this journey which is probably going to take more time than your flight.
5. Once you enter the airport, be prepared to donate useful body organs for food. I have new-found respect for the humble bread pakora after I saw how much it costed in the new international airport. Hunger suddenly was not that intense. Also, if body organs are too hard to part with, consider selling your latest model laptop or some of your clothes. That might buy you a decent meal.*
*Note: The taste of the meal is inversely proportional to the price you pay for it.
6. Please do not take people with Heart ailments and High blood pressure to the shopping arcade. The price tags can cause both respective ailments to skyrocket. On second thoughts, temporary insanity is a permanent danger. Kindly stay out in your best interest. If pink eyeshadow from Estee Lauder and Louis Vuitton bags are life saving commodities for you, then you are reading this by mistake.
7. Kindly bear with snooty kids and their snootier parents. If you are reading this, chances are you cannot afford to pay 150 bucks for a cappucino. Shame on you, and tolerate the condescending glances. Next time, please trade your capris and sneakers for Gucci and Jimmy Choo. Its not just an airport. Its the new Bengaluru International Airport.
7. Lastly, next time you are there, please ask the airport authorities to put up a signboard saying "ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE". Nothing stops flights from getting delayed, even at the New International Airport.
I trust the above safety announcement has warned everyone sufficiently.
To all those who are intrepid enough to attempt air travel to Bengaluru anyway: Have a safe flight!
posted by Anupama. @ 12:14 pm
2 Comments:
I don't think you have to worry about that anymore. With airfare where it is right now, it will be a long time before any one will actually think of flying.
metoowebcomic.wordpress.com
Awesome post heptanesian blue!! You said it! with the horrible state of traffic at Bangalore, "creating" something called an International airport at the outskirts (it is approx 50kms from my home!!) is the height of torture!
All valid points, written in yer inimitable sarcastic style! Kudos!
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